Be careful what you wish for

The above photos of Bobby Conn illustrate the journey of this tapeswap. See, after doing my bus ride test-drive of an initial line-up, I came to the conclusion that it was, well, a little gay. Something about the five middle tracks was just so hands-in-the-air-on-the-float action that I didn't want Hank to think I was trying to TELL him something. Don't get me wrong, nothing wrong with being gay - didn't you see 60 Minutes last night? It's apparently all in the GENES, say those clever Americans, so I'll have to stop telling my gay friends that it's just because they drank from the wrong bubblers in primary school.

But I digress. Fortunately, it was at this time that I remembered BOBBY CONN. Whose pictures grace the top of this post - glam Bobby and butch killer-dog yet still funkin' Bobby. I hadn't listened to him for so long and he is GREAT. I saw him about five years ago in London. It was just him in a white tracksuit with a guitar and a drum machine. Bobby was doin' the ironic glam falsetto thing when Justin Darkness (sorry, even though I love you) was still writing ad jingles. Anyway, the guy I was at the show with bought Bobby's cd because Bobby was so GREAT and made the mistake of leaving it in my bag. I didn't see him again before I left the country which was certainly my gain and hopefully, yours too, Hank because I hope you love the Conn as much as I do. There's two Bobby songs; the last, "Whores"features my favourite lyrics: "I'll be working on your street, missing half my teeth/Give another gummy blowjob, get myself something good to eat" with the chorus, "I'm so proud of being a whore/Lay me down and turn me out and give me some more" - all sung in a beautiful heartfelt torch song manner.

As for my cover art for this tapeswap, it was a poor cut and paste affair using sticky-tape and pictures of happy German matrons (I'm assuming they're German because it was from a German magazine), which certainly doesn't bear posting on this esteemed blog. The back of the cd does, though, feature a German football comic that says amongst lots of stuff I don't understand, "DIE PUSSYS!" and "SCHEISS HOOLIGANS!", which I enjoyed.

Alors, enough babbling - tracklist:

Fill my pill - Be Your Own Pet

Cum on feel the noize - Bran Van 3000

Maybelline - Datarock

Sexbeat - Two Lone Swordsmen

Nanny nanny boo boo - Le Tigre

Good ones - The Kills

I want candy - Bow Wow Wow

Winners - Bobby Conn

One two three four five six seven eight nine ten Barbie dolls - Pizzicato Five

Booker to hooker - Khan

Silent shout - The Knife

Skateboarding saves me twice - Grandaddy

Sugarcube - Yo La Tengo

Darling, you're mean - The Duke Spirit

Nepal - Mikkel Metal

Dominique - Gus Gus

*Close my eyes - Jason Sparks

Whores - Bobby Conn

*Cover of the Ride song, fancy!

Look Out There's A Monster Coming

My new tape swap, this one is for Matt... Strange, I chose these songs kinda randomly but there seems to be a lot of songs about monsters and creatures from outer-space... hence the title and the cover



01) Anton Maiden - Run To The Hills
Yes, you read that correctly Anton Maiden,
a swedish computer programmer that recorded an album of awful Iron Maiden karaoke songs and then commited suicide. YouTube Video [in swedish]

02) Gwar - Maggots
A heavy metal song about maggots falling like rain by guys that perform as monsters from outerspace
This is probably where Lordi stole most of their ideas... [Joan Rivers meets GWAR]

03) The Squirrels - Let It Be
Probably the most faithful rendition of this Beatles song I have heard [???]

04) Roky Erickson - Creature With The Atom Brain
The Rok has appeared on all my tape swaps, he is the greatest!

05) Iggy & The Stooges - I Got A Right
Great, this is as punk as it fucking gets

06) Richard Delvy - The Green Slime
Bizzare theme song to the science fiction flick of the same name, incredibly cheesy psychadelica

07) Dread Zeppelin - Whole Lotta Love
Led Zeppelin covers in a reggae style with an overwight Elvis impersonator on vocals,
why didn't I think of that? [Video: Dread Zep's Immigrant Song]

08) The Cramps - Two Headed Sex Change
Great band, strange subject matter for a song I guess???

09) Stormtroopers Of Death - United Forces
From the 1985 classic "Speak English Or Die", this has gotta be one of the most fucked up albums ever.

10) Milk Cult - The Fuzz Wah Song
These guys are also known as Steel Pole Bath Tub, the album is "Burn or Bury" and if you like experimental shit
it is worth checking out

11) Beatallica - No Remorseful Reply
Beatles cover band and Metallica parody rolled into one.
These guys have two albums and you can download them free from http://beatallica.org/

12) Jello Biafra & The Melvins - Yuppie Cadillac
Good little punk number about road hogging SUV's and 4WD's and the scumbags that drive'em

13) Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band - Look Out, There's A Monster Coming
One of my fav bands sound like a cross bewteen Beatles, Monty Python and LSD inspired Children's music

14) Ramones - Judy Is A Punk
To me this is probably the song that best represents the Ramones... simple, repetitive, loud and dumb

15) Public Enemy - Rebel Without A Pause
Something about the strange siren sounds in the backing track is annoying yet hypnotic and addictive.

16) Sonic's Rendezvous - City Slang
A good rocking song from Fred Sonic Smith of the MC5.

17) Misfits - Hollywood Babylon
That Danzig, boy, how he can wail!

18) Iron Maiden - Wrathchild
We had Anton Maiden at the start, now here is the real thing

19) The Surfmen - Ghost Hop
Surf music meets spooky stuff

20) Messer Chups - Dark Story
Russian exerimental/surf/electro/horror band... worth checking out

21) Supersuckers - Psyched Out
One of the most rocking bands that never made it big but shoulda and the world aint fair.

22) Brian Posehn - Metal by Numbers
That really tall nerdy comedian from Just Shoot Me with a metal parody song that's kinda geeky but funny